Excoriate Me Baby With a Fine Tooth Comb

Excerpts from another forum demonstrating the exquisite nature of self-serving dialogue meant to construct feet under clouds of manure(Edited at the discretion of the Dawg):

CORRESPONDENT 1: I´ve lived in (infamously descipicable city) for nearly ten years and have been kidnapped and witnessed (atrocities) and (am a better man for it).
CORRESPONDENT 2: Well, (so&so), I too lived in (infamously despicable place) and have lived in Mexico for (many) years (on the theory that as long as one is lying one might as well lie with aplomb) and have lived through "...grenade attacks (2), personal extrortion and death threats (4), gun battles(more than I can count) and the loss of the way of life I loved in (verdant and lovely rural place of great historical value).

" For at least two years, I and one other person were the voice of truth on (this Mexico oriented e-magazine and forum sponsor) about the growing activities of the cartels. I was lambasted, excoriated and suffered personally from ´kill the messenger´syndrome. No one here believed that certain things were happening in Mexico and having those things brought to their attention just made people furious.

" Suddenly folks woke up and saw what I had been urging caution about was in fact happening in different parts of the country. The worm turned and many, many people started posting here ( the aforementioned e-magazine) about the facts of the narcotraficante activities in the areas where they lived or traveled....

"Now, it looks like the worm is turning again.Today it was (fellow fear monger´s) turn to be blasted about cartel activity. I didn´t notice that his post screamed out, STAY AWAY!STAY AWAY! (but he has lived though so much terror up there in Durango)... and really only posts fact he thinks we (participants and members hereabouts) have reason to know.

" I live in Mexico City and haven´t altered my daily life due to fear (NOTE: This person moved to Mexico City from Morelia where she had been long resident because she was, according to her own narrative, frozen with fear in Morelia after having been the indirect victim of narco violence) and have no plans to do so."

"We are all sick and tired of the heavy cloud of tension in today´s Mexico....

"I, for one, am grateful to (this person) for posting today´s ´facts´. Thanks amigo."

The facts always seem to reside in the belly of the same fortunate purveyor of truths at times given to personal interpretation.

I had a little trouble following the dialog as to who was speaking to whom. I failed to get your take on this either, Dawg. Are you a believer now? Has things changed so bad at Lakeside as of late?

That one that ran scared from her long residence in Morelia (almost three years!) because she got one of those phone calls with a threatening tone. I'm glad she is doing well in Mexico City. I hope she stays there a long, long and happy time. The offer is still open for her to publish a deathwatch and body count column here on this forum. I will offer an exclusive category for such.

Those Special Forces advisors from NOB here to oversee the Drug War are maybe deciding it's time to prompt our paisanos back across the border and are directing ops toward that end. Hasn't happened here yet but I will let you know if it does.

Really, I kind of missed your take on this. Is there a new wave of problems? I caught from you the worm has turned again but I'm not sure what that means or which way it's currently heading.

Are these old-timers ready to hang it up and head north again?

Sorry if my posting was a bit unclear, Peter. It was prompted by the fact that a moderator on one of the the e-magazine´s forums published a news account of the murders/bridge hangings in Nuevo Laredo and some forum members were critical of him for having published news of violence. As he stated during the course of the on-line discussion, there was and often is a tendency to "shoot the messenger" so to speak and another forum moderator over there took that opportunity to relate her own "negative" experiences within the Michoacan community when she published negative information about violence in that state. If any readers wish to read the actual thread discussing these matters, the e-magazine is Mexico Connect and the forums are open to the public. I just thought folks living in Michoacan and reading this forum might be interested in the latter moderator´s take on her experiences during those times before she left for a new residence in Mexico City.

As for events at what I will call Lakeside which, for your readers not that familiar with Lake Chapala, is an area on the north shore of the lake encompassing maybe 30 kilometers at most from the western line of Poncitlan Municipality to the western edge of the Jocotepec Municipality and all in Jalisco State. The primary municipality in that area is probably Chapala and there has been a well-publicized and serious increase in gang related crime in both the Chapala and Jocotepec municipalities as of late which readers can read about on line at the web site of the Guadalajara Reporter. There is a bit of nervousness among members of both the local and expat communities all around Lakeside and property values have, no doubt, suffered a bit as foreign newcomers to the communites involved look askance at what may be going on here. I can´t say that there is any indication that there is any significant movement among expats to leave this area and, actually, it may be a good time to shop for real estate deals here. That is not a come-on as Dawg´s house is not and will not be for sale. Old Dawg will probably leave here feet first - hopefully from the ravages of old age a number of years from now. In the meantime, if things get too hairy hereabouts, Dawg can head on down to Chiapas and hang out there until things settle down at the lake. Maybe head back down to the Usumacinta River on the border with Guatemala and watch the crocs at play and Hondurans on their way to Texas. Who´d have thought of Chiapas as safe haven from Jalisco in 2006 when we bought a house there? De Lawd works in mysterious ways.

OK, I think I get the picture now. A little of the pot calling the kettle black with a heavy dose of I-told-you-so. Rolly, I believe you refer to, is no fear-monger. If he reports on an incident I will assume it to be without excessive embellishment. I can't say my relationship with him on MC was particularly great but I do respect what he has had to say. I reserve the right to disagree with anyone.

The other commentator, formerly from a short stay in Morelia, has her share of "fans" on this site. So revered is she for her website, web presence, and comments we reserve the right of fair comment here because of her public status. Whatever hardships and threats she claims to have encountered here had the positive effect of prompting her to find greener pastures. She should take it all as a positive as I believe she claims to be much better off now. This area of Michoacán has seen expats of the adventurous and largely non-phoney type predominate. Those who are not "real" tend to move on. Qué les vaya bien.

I have heard of some unrest in your area. I hope it settles down again soon as we are overdue for a visit there. Tere loves that little American community in her home country. It is a great cultural experience for her.

Mainly, the exchange was about "look how right I am and how little credit I get for it." That message is increasingly tiresome to those subjected to it often.

Jim

Before Dawg clarified what he had posted on I went to the MexConnect site, a place where I had been a regular poster for a couple years or so but seldom go anymore. I couldn't find the thread in question but did read about Baja Gringo's encounter with bad guys, being attacked and left for dead and his wife checking in on him also falling victim and having her throat cut. I am relieved to read a copy of a post he left recently where he statess they are both recovering well now. I always liked his sunny humor and was really taken aback by hearing about their attack by their home in Baja. I hope their life can continue on as before once they fully recover.

Indeed there seems to be a series of unrelated violent incidences occurring all over Mexico. I am happy to say our area has not seemed to have had anything of this kind happen beyond any usual mischief. Knock on wood. Let's hope things stay this way for us and greatly normalize and improve elsewhere. The only one that seems to be enjoying it all is that MC moderator. Sad that it takes such miserable occurrences to happen so she can gloat about being right and make her I-told-you-so proclaimations.

Check Central Highlands forum, the thread title is Michoacán state.

I took a look and did a drive-by post on that thread, just after yours and David's. I noticed before even entering the thread that a number of posts had been removed, probably all the aforementioned garbage. When you see an unusually high post count of a thread on the preview page that goes into 5 digits or more it is because posts have been removed.

Since we are discussing the Mexico Connect forums and their infamous moderator whose name is rarely mentioned hereabouts, I must, strictly for purposes of providing entertainment to the pathetic Michoacan losers who remain stuck in that narco hellhole while the more enlightened among their lot wend their way to the more sophisticated environs of Mexico City, provide a bit of history on our self-appointed heroine. I first met her some ten years ago when she was a denizen of Ajijic and, over the years, I observed her moving from Ajijic to Guadalajara to Morelia to Mexico City always flush with the victory of finding new urban adventures to experience and each time a new move to a new environment brought hope for new experiences and I understand that. Dawg has been moving about incessantly since leaving Tuscaloosa for Paris and then Santa Monica in 1966 always in search of that final and good place in which to settle that was worthy of Dawg´s presence.

It is important to remember, when observing this wanderlust, that, when one finds a new-found place worthy of oneself over the long term, one must find fault with the place one just exited as opposed to oneself. In other words, it cannot be that one was unable to achieve happiness in Place X as opposed to Place Y because of personality deficiencies but because Place X was clearly not up to the standards of Place Y at least until Place Z was discovered. If one left Ajijic then one´s motivation was to escape the lackluster hick town full of expatriates of low caliber and then, if Guadalajara proved inadequate, it was because it was just a big redneck burg of unsustainable interest and then Morelia, while attractive architecturally at least in its historic center, was and is a place crawling with criminal elements and is also a large but unworthy backwater so, perhaps happiness can be found in Mexico´s anarchic but constantly exciting megalopolis and "world-class city". Dawg wonders where one goes from there to achieve stardom. Caracas? Buenas Aires? But then, one has no potential constituency in Venezuela or Argentina.

When all of this is over one wonders if one sticks a pin in the balloon, it will hiss loudly and fly off randomly into the atmosphere helter-skelter until it putters out and ends up as the leaf at Forrest Gump´s feet at that Savannah bus stop.

My experience with balloon is that if you stick a pin in it it will burst loudly and fall in pieces at your feet. To untie the end and let the air escape measuredly will typically produce the result you described. There is some life lesson to be found in that perhaps but I probably missed it.

I was wondering what I did wrong with the places I've been. I was very happy to leave the US as it seemed in my near environment I was one of the few gifted with sight, so what I will relate does not always apply to my every endeavor.

I always used the military model which has seemed to work for me, though perhaps I have been depriving myself some self-satisfaction for being the most enlightened, for gloating purposes. The three best units one can belong to in the military regardless of which branch one belongs to, first off the very best is the outfit you currently belong to, the second best is the unit you previously left, and the third is the one you will be going to next, that is up until the time you arrive there then that is all re-adjusted again for current placement. I guess I have been doing this wrong.

Well, Dawg.... Sometimes I skip the message and just enjoy your prose. How/when did you become such a good writer? I doubt you had much need for the skill in banking.

Peter, I am only aware of one post on that thread that was for sure deleted, and much of the rest seems the same as I've seen it for awhile. Clever post, by the way.

Jim

But-but-but that individual whose name, like J-e-h-o-v-a-h, cannot be uttered is the Voice of Truth. She done said so herself, so there's no disputing that. She is right, and anyone who disagrees with her is obviously wrong. How hard is that to unnerstand?

Like Gomer Pyle would say, "Surprise, surprise." Mexico City was nothing until the likes of this lady whose name shall not be spoken or written landed there. Morelia is less for her absence. You do cry your self to sleep every night knowing that you have to live in this hellhole now that she's gone, doncha?

Oh what the heck, we're talking about Crusty, our favorite cartoon clown.

She is dead serious though, and right. She has long been telling us that there are dangers here in Mexico, even here in Michoacán, and that we have drug dealers here too, a whole hotbed of them. She has foreseen that there will be violent incidences occur in our state as has happened before, and that it can happen in our own backyards.

She has accurately predicted that sometime, somewhere, someone on these Mexican forums that we know will one day become a victim of violence. But we wouldn't listen to her. We have chosen to go on about our business as if nothing would ever happen to us. We have chosen to not only try to ignore her but have asked her to quiet herself.

She saw right through our shallow acknowledgements of her insight and is certain we do this solely to placate her but refuse to heed her warnings to our own detriment and that we will place our collective heads back in the sand once she lets up. I suspect she would like to tell all of us that each and everyone is going to die then be there at graveside to tell us she told us so because despite her grave warnings we just go on about our business without a care in the world refusing to accept that one day our time will come to an end.

Crusty was not a very funny clown yet none of us would take her seriously. I'm still not clear on what it is she wanted us to do with her deep wisdom. All I know is that if any of us would later find a moment of pause to acknowledge something dark had cast its shadow over any of us she would be there with all her wisdom from throughout the ages to back it up and confirm that is what she has been telling us for years. If only we would have listened we could have possibly escaped our fate by heeding her warnings instead of scorning her and begging her to shut up.

What is Dawg to do now that Crusty is concentrating her efforts of saving the Federal District´s twenty plus million people from themselves and their countless enemies. It´s amazing, is it not, that it takes that one new, insightful person to enlighten the masses there before her arrival that the massive and disreputable city in which the live is actually quite safe in comparison to that medium sized cow town down the road apiece ruled by the Knights Templar and associates.

Dawg´s problem is that, here I am in the planning stages of a drive from Lake Chapala to Chiapas via, among other places, points in Veracruz State including Veracruz City´s zocalo followed the next day on my way to Catemaco by lunch in the nearby affluent suburb of Boca Del Rio when some cartel members take it upon themselves to massacre other cartel members and dump their 35 bodies in the middle of a major boulevard in the middle of the day in Boca Del Rio just a short distance from where Dawg had planned to enjoy a sumptious Veracruz style, all-afternoon lunch at a famous shellfish joint in that city. Now, of course, there must be massive retribution by this cartel against that cartel and Dawg does not wish to end these 69 years on the planet having just ingested some conch fritters and finding them exiting a hole in my gullet just introduced by a stray bullet meant for some goon having lunch at an adjacent table.

What to do? Head on to Catemaco for lunch by the lake? Where oh where is Crusty when you need her advice. With the new Arco Norte Autopista I no longer need advice on how to transit Mexico City safely in order to get to Chiapas. Maybe she could establish branches in Puebla, Oaxaca and Veracruz States along with Tabasco and the Lacandon Forest in Chiapas and publish advice for hicks such as Dawg so we´ll know how to get from Point A to Point B with information provided by She Herself.

Yabbut, the self-proclaimed Voice of Truth seemed to have a lousy sense of direction. She would claim over and over again, as if the more times the tale was told the closer it would approach the truth, that a shoot-out took place right outside her bedroom window when in fact it was a mile and a half away and separated by several boulevards and a river. The voice on the end of the phone that she thought was an extortionist was likely a telemarketer.

Hound Dog, it's perfectly clear that you lack the sense to pick a place to eat on your own. What are you doing, thinking that you could decide what and where to eat without the wise and learned advice from the Culinary Tour Guide? Did you not know that she was on the ground when the tortilla itself was invented?

Amigo wrote:

Did you not know that she was on the ground when the tortilla itself was invented?

The world´s best tortilla - which, by the way utilizes very flavorful olive oil in abundance:

The finest, most fruity Spanish extra virgin olive oil
Lots of eggs
Potatoes (preferably sweet yellow Finnish) previously sauteed until tender and slightly browned
Thinly slied caramalized yellow onions or white onions if yellow onions cannot be found
S&P to taste

Make an omelette with these ingredients, cool to room temperature, open a sleazy Spanish tapas bar, serve to yourself and any loud and obnoxious Spaniards passing by in the early evening hours along with cheap Spanish red wine in little bitty glasses to be refilled constantly.

Eat and get loaded.

Now, that´s a tortilla.

Didn't you know that the Voice of Truth practically invented the Spanish tortilla? Cortes hisself had to get directions from her before he discovered Mexico.

Wasn't she Cortez' tour guide?