A very special tribute to the folks in Jefferson County Alabama

Seems like our neighbors up there in Alabama are either going to have to start using porta potties, or pay a new user fee in the form of an increased sewage tax of 8%.
Why? Well, Jefferson County declared bankruptcy this week due to some misdeeds by who knows, and every flush is now going to cost them.

Well, now, let´s see. Metropolitan Birmingham takes up several counties and has a population of 1,000,000 plus but Jefferson County is the heart of that city with a population of around 800.000 people. Birmingham is maybe 80% African American. Its suburbs are maybe 80% white. This repeats every urban zone in the eastern United States from Washingtn, D.C to Detroit. Who the hell are you folks laughing at? The 700,000 black citizens of Birmingham or the effete white snobs that fell for that sewer scam from Vegas trained crooks and took all those people to the cleaners.

Have fun while you can. Those same slimeballs nearly took the entire United States down the drain. See if you can laugh at Biirminghm while watching your own town go down the commode. Marginal snots.

Now now Dawg, let's not get all testy about this, a bit of levity in the case of a mess like that is a welcome relief. Yes, I used the word relief, deliberately.
Naturally it's the effete elite we're having a laugh at here. Speaking of cleaning, if the effete put their own cash into this instead of using OPM, you know what that means Dawg, they may be employed in the cleaning of toilets industry soon, or better yet, the limpieza of porta potties.

Now let us all pray to our own personal saviour for that to become a reality in the very near future.

You´re OK in my book raqueteer and Dawg hates nearly everybody.

Dawg, you and my husband would get on just fine, he hates just about everybody too. In fact, this year I may give him the one thing he's been wanting for Christmas, for at least since we came here to Peoria Upon Sump. A tee shirt emblazoned with I HATE PEOPLE on the front, and a hand giving the finger on the back.

I haven´t even met your spouse, raqueteer but I already like him.

By the way, I never thought of that but why not shut down that space age sewage system madly grinding and aerating all those raw turds and simply issue every citizen of Birmingham a Pot-To-Pee-In and have a mule-drawn wagon driven by an elderly unemployed gent reminiscent of the 1950s that comes by each day to collect the waste in a huge cylinder and dump the entire load into the Black Warrior River so the folks downstream in Tuscaloosa will have drinking water with some character. Of course, since this is Alabama, under that new law, Mexicans illegally in Birmingham to clean the commodes at the 500 Walmarts there at 4:00AM will not be eligible to receive Pots-To-Pee-In as all 100,000 of them are there ILLEGALLY and denying suffering Alabamians the opportunities to set their alarm clocks at 1:00AM and work through the night scrubbing toilets for slave wages. Wait! Of course, there will be no toilets in the newly configured Walmarts. What an excellent opportunity for Walmart to feature a new line of discount Pots-To-Pee-In. You see the difference between capitalist thinking and Obama Socialism?

But, wait, if there are no toilets to scrub in all those Walmart stores in Jefferson County, will those 100,000 Mexicans have to move back to Chiapas and if they do what will we do with them?

Dawg has decided to trademark Pots-To-Pee-In so don´t even think of ripping off my franchise.

"I haven´t even met your spouse, raqueteer but I already like him."

You guys should all get together while JimRP is visiting there. Dawg would have to take up smoking again just to blend-in.

Hound Dog wrote:

I haven´t even met your spouse, raqueteer but I already like him.

By the way, I never thought of that but why not shut down that space age sewage system madly grinding and aerating all those raw turds and simply issue every citizen of Birmingham a Pot-To-Pee-In and have a mule-drawn wagon driven by an elderly unemployed gent reminiscent of the 1950s that comes by each day to collect the waste in a huge cylinder and dump the entire load into the Black Warrior River so the folks downstream in Tuscaloosa will have drinking water with some character. Of course, since this is Alabama, under that new law, Mexicans illegally in Birmingham to clean the commodes at the 500 Walmarts there at 4:00AM will not be eligible to receive Pots-To-Pee-In as all 100,000 of them are there ILLEGALLY and denying suffering Alabamians the opportunities to set their alarm clocks at 1:00AM and work through the night scrubbing toilets for slave wages. Wait! Of course, there will be no toilets in the newly configured Walmarts. What an excellent opportunity for Walmart to feature a new line of discount Pots-To-Pee-In. You see the difference between capitalist thinking and Obama Socialism?

But, wait, if there are no toilets to scrub in all those Walmart stores in Jefferson County, will those 100,000 Mexicans have to move back to Chiapas and if they do what will we do with them?

Dawg has decided to trademark Pots-To-Pee-In so don´t even think of ripping off my franchise.

Excellent idea Dawg, Now if you were to keep your franchise to the collection of bodily wastes at the consumer level. I'm sure my husband could put together an aftermarket
for said wastes. In fact, he once did something of the sort to a particularly loathsome member of the local county club (he was forced to be a member for business purposes only). As the story goes, he and a couple of buddies paid the local snow clearance guy to dump 5 tons of solid salt laden snow directly in front of and on the doorstep of this member one cold winter night whilst the recipient was sound asleep.

Now I'm sure you can see where all this is going. PPT, in honor of the group who daily prop up the financial markets for the advantage of the effete. ( the plunge protection team). PPT would be a state of the art collection service, Pot to Pee in Transportation. Daily pick up, and deliveries where necessary. Routes carefully designed for maximum impact. Whilst the mule and cylinder idea is truly laudable, speed and cunning would make the entire process much more efficient and rather than befouling the Black Warrior River, the process could redirect these truly valuable collections of excreta to those most in need. The effete of Jefferson County.

Whilst the mule and cylinder idea is truly laudable, speed and cunning would make the entire process much more efficient and rather than befouling the Black Warrior River, the process could redirect these truly valuable collections of excreta to those most in need. The effete of Jefferson County

"Whilst?" Because I like you, my Canadian friend, I advise you not to say "whilst" while in Birmingham or you may be swinging from the nearest lightpole whilst peading from passers-by for assistance. They hate words like "whilst" in B´Ham. I do like that notion of sending back that excreta to fertilize the massive lawns of the effete elite overlooking the lights and skycrapers of Birmingham from the slopes of Red Mountain in places like suburban Mountain Brook. The lawns might smell a bit funky but how pleasant to sit outside in one´s deck chair admiring the splendid view while sipping a scotch and soda and remarking to one´s spouse, "My, how wonderful it is to sit here looking down on the less fortunate dining on fried grits, ketchup and sweet tea while sipping a fine single malt with just a touch of ice and soda. By the way, darling, how are those steaks comiing along as that claret has been open and breathing for some 30 minutes already since I uncorked it. Sweetie Pie? Sweetie Pie? Why are you lying face down next to the BBQ grill? Sorry but no mouth-to-mouth resusitation Honey Buns; those days are long gone."

Hound Dog wrote:

Whilst the mule and cylinder idea is truly laudable, speed and cunning would make the entire process much more efficient and rather than befouling the Black Warrior River, the process could redirect these truly valuable collections of excreta to those most in need. The effete of Jefferson County

"Whilst?" Because I like you, my Canadian friend, I advise you not to say "whilst" while in Birmingham or you may be swinging from the nearest lightpole whilst peading from passers-by for assistance. They hate words like "whilst" in B´Ham. I do like that notion of sending back that excreta to fertilize the massive lawns of the effete elite overlooking the lights and skycrapers of Birmingham from the slopes of Red Mountain in places like suburban Mountain Brook. The lawns might smell a bit funky but how pleasant to sit outside in one´s deck chair admiring the splendid view while sipping a scotch and soda and remarking to one´s spouse, "My, how wonderful it is to sit here looking down on the less fortunate dining on fried grits, ketchup and sweet tea while sipping a fine single malt with just a touch of ice and soda. By the way, darling, how are those steaks comiing along as that claret has been open and breathing for some 30 minutes already since I uncorked it. Sweetie Pie? Sweetie Pie? Why are you lying face down next to the BBQ grill? Sorry but no mouth-to-mouth resusitation Honey Buns; those days are long gone."

Ahh well I'm probably safe from the lamp post treatment, since I do not for any reason, visit Los Estados Unidos, much less Birmingham due to some unfortunate incidents which have been taking place in airports and elsewhere. Good to know about the approved uses for the word whilst. I had clearly moved into literary pretentiousness, a momentary lapse.

In any case, there could be even more to this promising plan for the redistribution of valuable resources.

First, one could consider this a form of aromatherapy for the residents of Mountain Brook and other simply fabulous ghettos where the effete lurk in splendid isolation.

Secondly, this could put an end to the charming habit of sitting on one's verandah sipping a single malt, or mint julep, while commenting on the misfortunes of others at happy hour. Schadenfreude could be reversed and the impoverished might actually experience the joys of such a satisfying indulgence.

BBQ would return to the more deserving members of the community, whose environs are now odor free thanks to the services of PPT, and of course your retail product, pot to pee in, which could become so popular that it takes on a new pride of ownership formerly only available to the owners of Rolls Royce automobiles. A new must have item. Wait wait wait, you could call it the pet potty. I see millions here.

Lavish lawn parties in Mountain Brook would come to a screeching halt, while the newly sanitized impoverished areas would become a mecca for great parties complete with BBQ, jazz and interesting alcoholic concoctions.